Registry Rules

A little pre-planning can mean the difference between wedding gifts that contribute to your wedded bliss and those that clutter the love nest.
By Beth A. Clayton

Sure, there’s the happily-ever-after part, but a major perk of becoming a Mr. and Mrs. can be the outpouring of engagement, shower, and wedding gifts from generous friends and family. That is, if you know what you want and how to register for it.

Traditionally stocked with linens and tableware for the happy couple to help set up their new home, registries are getting more diverse as more and more couples delay marriage in lieu of making it on their own first, or purchase homes together well before they tie the knot. While traditional registries will likely always have a place in the bridal world, couples that think outside the big box store will fine plenty of options to fit their needs.

“Couples are getting married later in life and don’t have use for some things,” says Dave Demaree, manager of outdoor supplier Rusted Moon Outfitters in Broad Ripple. “We offer an alternative, something that our customers will be able to use.” Demaree says that most customers who utilize his store’s registry ask for backpacking and hiking equipment, often in preparation for a rugged honeymoon.

Though Demaree, who after 18 years of marriage still doesn’t have formal china, says that though most of his customers are the outdoorsy type, indoor types can take a cue from his customers and find a store that offers a registry that suits their needs. 

“Definitely ask your favorite store if they would be willing to set up a registry,” says Kristin Kohn, owner of Mass Ave boutiques At Home In The City and Silver In The City. “I think most stores would be happy to accommodate.” Kohn began offering a registry service in 2003 at the request of a pair of regular customers looking to add some funky accessories to their home. 

“People are so much more conscious of their home décor than they used to be,” says Kohn, whose shop offers clocks, picture frames, furniture, and accessories not found in typical home stores. “They are really looking for their own unique style and they want their home to reflect it.”

Those who choose to go the independent boutique route should keep a couple of things in mind: First, smaller stores may carry only a few of a particular item in stock, and may not continue to stock an item for the length of an engagement, particularly if it is a year or longer. Concerned couples can check on the registry frequently and update it as the big day draws near. Also, if the store doesn’t offer online shopping or has limited store hours, this type of boutique could be difficult for out-of-towners to access, so be sure to also register at a store with multiple locations and online capabilities.

For couples that want the gift of experiences instead of tangible items, a honeymoon registry may be the way to go. But bride beware; do your homework to ensure you and your guests aren’t getting ripped off.

Online honeymoon registries offer more flexibility than, say, flatware, but are more personal than sending cash. These registries essentially act as travel agents, helping the bride and groom plan their trip, and then listing the price of individual activities, airfare upgrades, restaurant gift cards, etc. Guests can treat the couple to specific luxuries like champagne toasts, glass bottom boat tours, or deluxe accommodations.

Noblesville residents Karma and Billy Kristufek  headed to Aruba following their September wedding. After much research, the couple settled on www.honeymoonwishes.com for their registry. 

“We were already living together and have pretty much everything we need,” says Karma. “We decided we would rather get money toward a really big trip instead.”

The catch? There are several if you aren’t careful. Many activities must be booked in advance, meaning that if friends and family don’t come through, you may be stuck footing the bill for a luxury you wouldn’t otherwise have opted for. Also, some sites charge hefty service fees (up to 9 percent!) on registry items; a cost your guests will be stuck with. Look for sites that will allow you to tag some money as discretionary, so that if guests don’t purchase an activity or flight upgrade you have your heart set on, funds can be transferred from another place you are willing to compromise on. 

Again, make sure to register at more traditional locations for guests who feel uncomfortable with this kind of arrangement. The Kristufeks also registered at Target for kitchenware and linens. “We didn’t want to register for just the honeymoon since not everyone is internet-savvy,” says Karma. 

No matter how well-established the couple, Chrissy Yonaites, project leader for store operations with Crate & Barrel, says that an engagement is a good time for a couple to assess their stuff. “Look around at what you have and see what needs to be replaced,” she says. If you are starting a new life together, it may be time for new dishes.

If china and kitchen gadgets really aren’t your cup of tea, it is still possible to broaden your horizons in a traditional registry. Throw pillows, vases, desk supplies, and furniture are all popular items at Crate & Barrel. “People used to come in just for kitchenware, but now nothing is off-limits.”

Regardless of the location, Yonaites cautions couples to take their time when register. She recommends couples come in 4 to 6 months prior to the wedding so that engagement party and bridal shower guests will have a few items to choose from, too, and to come back frequently and update their list. “You don’t need to spend a whole day registering. It’s too much,” she says.

Also, try to look beyond the here and now. Though it can be hard to imagine hosting a sit-down dinner for more than a few people now, Yonaites tells couples to resist the urge to register for only eight place settings. “Later down the line, you may host the extended family for Christmas, and eight settings won’t be enough.” Play it safe and register for 12, or even 14, to allow for breakage over the years.

And finally, have a good time with it; a registry should reflect the couples individual wants and needs, not a one-size-fits all picture of married life. “Treat this as a wish list,” says Yonaites. “Your friends and family will be happy knowing that they are buying you something you like and will use.”